Christmas Noir by Christopher G. Moore

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For most people deception comes early on.  Around Christmas time millions of children believe that Santa Claus will come to their house and leave gifts from them as rewards for their good behavior in the previous year. It is no surprise that one of the first lessons a child learns is that those most close to them, the ones they trust and feel most secure with, are capable of deception. Christmas and noir become coupled with a child’s first introduction to how corruption works as Christmas approaches. Santa Claus expects a reward on his time and investment in terms of milk and cookies. Children leave him an offering. It is the first bribe they pay with the encouragement of their family. Christmas Noir features a fat bearded man with supernatural powers (to get over the speed of light limitations), and he comes dressed in weird clothes, and he judges your record over the past year and bribery is part of the deal.

Christmas Noir doesn’t stop with a fat magical warlord and his corrupt practices, it extents to his whole business model. For instance, parents leave out the tiny detail that Santa Claus’s so-called elves who work around the clock to make toys for billions of children are likely children slaving inside a sweatshop. The noir reality is the child is accepting gifts from a corrupt sweatshop slaver. Let’s don’t get started on the animal cruelty in the treatment of reindeer which beaten until they fly and then must land and take off on billions of rooftops all on one night.

The mother and father’s deception about Santa Claus can be dressed up as a ‘white lie’ to preserve childhood innocence and a tradition that is part of the cultural heritage. No matter what dress you put on a horse, it remains a horse. A lie dressed up as culture and tradition can never shed its origin as born in deception.

In the adult world, having served in the front ranks of disillusioned Santa Claus believers, we are nonetheless primed for further deceptions by politicians, conmen, bankers, terrorists, and by friends on Facebook and Twitter. It is a mixed bag and we are on alert for those who deceive, looking for signs and omens, remembering how easily we were duped as a child and swearing not to let that happen again.

The old Santa Claus story reappears despite our early training to spot deceit. Property bubbles, ponzi schemes, Bernie Madoff, Nigerian offers to split offshore loot by a recently deceased general, are among a vast array of criminal activities that depend on the ‘fish’ taking the bait. And it seems there are enough fish in the sea that even if only a few bite, you can fill the boat with fish jumping into the boat and not waiting for the hook.

One of the functions of the justice system and the political system is to prevent deception. That’s why Campbell’s soup label can’t outright lie about the contents including salt and sugar levels. Medicine, cars, TVs, computers, phones all come with puffing about their superior features, functionality, and usefulness. Placebo in place of a pill with active ingredients is allowed in certain blind studies but the patients are informed that someone of them will be receiving a ‘fake’ pill.

The laws, police and courts monitor commercial behavior for deception and punish those found guilty of deceitful conduct. Most of the time. While our parents don’t go to jail when it is clear they lied about Santa Claus, someone who operates a boiler room and sells worthless shares to your grandmothers are arrested and sentenced to prison. Some of the time.

Governments spend large sums of money seeking to effectively gather information about criminals who use deception to mask the crime, or their trail after committing a crime, or finding how and where they stashed their ill-gotten gains.  Every legal system and culture has its own set of ideas about how best to go about detecting the deceivers among us.

The most obvious way to find people committing criminal acts is to catch them in the act. Criminals may be dumb but they aren’t altogether stupid. If they believe they are being watched or listened to—the eyes off the police are on them—they are unlikely to commit the theft, mugging, assault, murder or drunk driving.  Deception is the art of not getting caught. It is also a cat and mouse game, where each side tries to stay one step ahead of the other. The question is who is winning the deception game? The deceivers who are able to either use deceit to take an unlawful advantage or having committed any crime use deceit to avoid detection.

Below is the picture of a new watchtower on Walking Street in Pattaya: a place of bars, nightclubs, and massage parlors. Thousands of people walk along this street every night of the week. The street is closed to traffic. A vibrant nightlife attracts criminals from pickpockets to drug dealers. These are examples of the kind of criminal activity that depends on deception.  The question is whether the police officer in the tower is better at this job that CCTV cameras that feed into a monitoring system watched by the police.


Thai Visa

The watchtower mentality goes back to defending castles. Like moats, watchtowers are defensive instruments to protect mainly against surprise attack. Or in the case of a prison, a surprise escape by prisoners or a surprise visit by friends and family of the prisoners. In any event, using a watchtower to detect street crime has some uphill problems. In a culture of face, perhaps the mere presence of a tower overlooking a street is enough to instill fear in potential criminals that they sleek off to the side streets–out of police sight–and commit the crime.


The Bangkok Post

Another example of watchfulness is the blimp bought for use to fight terrorists in the South of Thailand. As a surveillance system, it has most of the limitation of a watchtower, only it is higher off the ground. In this case, the blimp cost around $10M, and had chronic problems from the start. Meaning it had so many additional accessories it apparently had trouble staying airborne. When those problems appeared to be addressed, in the first flight, the blimp crashed and is in for repairs. The idea behind the blimp was to expose deceptive conduct by would-be terrorists who seek to disguise themselves or their criminal activities on the ground. Instead the focus of attention shifted from terrorists to possible deception in the acquisition of the blimp. Deception, in other words, can be like those Russian dolls. Or it can be a retelling of the Santa Claus story in a novel way.

The final example is the GT200, a device bought by the army to detect landmines hidden along roads in the South of Thailand and set off by remote control as military vehicles passed over them. Like the blimp, the idea was to use high-technology as a means to check deception by terrorists by discovering ambush points where their lethal mines had been set. Only it turned out the army was deceived by the sellers of the GT200 who faced criminal charges in the UK for—I am certain you are ready for this—deception and fraud. The GT200 had the circuitry sophistication of a Barbie doll. There were also allegations about the high purchase price paid for the GT200 devices, i.e., around Baht 1,000,000 per device.  What had been bought to detect terrorists didn’t work and questions about sourcing, testing and evaluating the device according to transparent standards disappeared from sight and into the general fog that people understand to mean if they know what is good for them they don’t ask such questions.

We are left without Santa Claus’s heritage, which, like GT200, and the Blimp and the Watchtower, are from an earlier belief system. When the government is our parent we enter the zone where Santa Claus, like Schrödinger’s cat is neither dead nor alive. We must first open the box and look inside. This was what George Orwell sought to show as the duty of a writer. Now, however, the duty is not so much to expose official deceit as to entertain and flatter. Because we know that if look really hard and reveal an inconvenient truth that we will likely be in big trouble. No presents for troublemakers. No one wishes to risk being the only one that Santa didn’t bring a Christmas present to this year. The only one who made Santa angry and lose face. So our generation goes along with watchtowers, blimps and GT200s believing they actually exist and work for us.

The message from childhood remains the same—you will be judged by a powerful person who runs a sweatshop racket, someone with supernatural power and he expects a bribe. Those who we assume are most responsible for looking after us are the ones who are the mostly likely to deceive us in the end. That makes for a noir Christmas. But it also brings us to a New Year where just maybe we will find George Orwell’s courage to use truth to combat lies from the official and corporate world.

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www.cgmoore.com

Christopher G. Moore’s latest book is Thirteenth in Vincent Calvino P.I. seriesMissing in Rangoonwhich is available as ebook version.

Missing In Rangoon

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Christopher G. Moore
2 comments on “Christmas Noir by Christopher G. Moore
  1. This essay made me miss my Christmas brandy just a tad.
    Thanks to all the writers here for taking the time to entertain, make us think and allowing us to engage.
    May all your dark moments be in your imagination or fleeting.

  2. Thank you, Kevin from all of us at International Crime Authors for taking the time to leave comments over the past year. We appreciate your feedback and wish you a happy New Year! Please visit us often in 2013 and keep letting us know what your opinion about our essays.

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